My teen son had a wet dream last night. What should I do next? How do I talk about this with him?
A “wet dream” is an unexpected release of seminal fluid or semen while your son is asleep. Since a wet dream usually happens at night, the medical term is “nocturnal emission.”
Seminal fluid is manufactured by the prostate gland and carries sperm out of the body during an ejaculation. It’s important to know that this is not a sign of a bodily malfunction, disease, or moral failure. Many times, it is a sign that the young man is allowing for his body to do its healthy cycling instead of choosing to masturbate or be sexually active.
It can, however, catch an adolescent off guard if he has not had any advance notice that 1) it can occur, and 2) it is not unusual. If you haven’t yet given your son this information, now would be an excellent opportunity to let him know.
Help your son not feel shame with this reality, but to gain understanding. And while you’re at it, discuss a much broader topic: What happens to him as he makes the transition from childhood to adulthood?
This should not be limited to a one-time “birds and bees” conversation. Instead, this should be part of an ongoing series of conversations with him that encompass the length and breadth of his transition.
These are some of the topics you can discuss:
Above all, he needs to know that you are a calm, reliable, non-shaming source of information and insight about all matters relating to navigating this important period of his life.
For more resources on this topic, please explore our preteens here. To speak with one of our professional counselors, call 1-800-A-FAMILY (1-800-232-6459) for some guidance regarding your specific situation.
Dr. Paul Reisser is a private practice family physician in Thousand Oaks, Calif. Since earning his M.D. from the UCLA School of Medicine and completing his residency at Santa Monica Hospital, Dr. Reisser has accumulated more than 30 years of experience in the area of primary care medicine.
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